Thursday, February 26, 2009

Humiliating Bryan Kemper

As a communist, and someone who is militantly pro-choice, I was outraged when Bryan Kemper of “Stand True” ministries was scheduled to speak on my campus. Perhaps my outrage was unjustified. Kemper is no James Dobson or Pat Robertson. He has no mass following. He’s merely one of probably a few thousand flim-flam men, who makes their career telling Jesus-Camp alumni what they want to hear, and letting them think it is rebellious because he has an ear piercing and limited electric guitar playing ability in addition to being good at preaching “feel good bigotry.”

It was probably not worth protesting his event, because even the facebook event had a whooping 28 confirmed guests, most of which didn’t show, as usual.

Kemper was there, near the Baldwin-Wallace cyber café, with his Christian rock t-shirt, his ear piercing, and his oh-so-badass “unshaven” facial hair. He saw my comrades and I, seven us of total, who were there to picket his event. He walked up to us giving us his usual “I’m a happy peace-loving Christian” smile acting like he wanted to be our friends. (Interesting how on his blog he refers to us as “mass murderers.”)

We blew him off, which is usual. We figured we wouldn’t let him bait us into a debate, since this man has made a career for himself preaching against women. My position was as usual. I protest these fucks, and I ignore them, since any dialogue you have with these fools just gives them more credibility.

So, he walks past our picket line outside of the pro-life club’s event, and he makes a snide comment at my girlfriend’s sign which read “We won’t return to back alley butchers!”

Kemper snidely said to her, a woman, someone he views as his biblical inferior, saying “More women die now in legal abortion clinics than ever died before it was legal.” (A lie, of course, but something the Jesus Camp Alumni Association will nod and accept without a thought.)

Then, one of my comrades made the mistake of responding. He said “That sounds like a medical issue, not a moral issue.”

Then Bryan had exactly what he wanted, dialogue! He was able to have a confrontation in front of his flock.

“Only the worst doctors who have flunked out of medical school perform abortions, because it’s the only thing they can do, no one else will hire them!” (A lie, again, Bryan knows how to pump out whoppers…)

I then figured, because a confrontation had started, I would do my best not to let him get the “I’m so peaceful and loving Christian” front while he baited us.
I loudly told him “Maybe that’s because people like you kill them!”

“I’ve never killed anyone. I just want love…” He continued blathering.

I then held up one of his “Stand True” pamphlets I had picked up from inside his event.

“Interesting how you quote Langston Hughes, someone you would have executed for being gay!”

“I oppose the death penalty.” He said. I could see the fire burning within him, his “Jesus in sandals” act was starting to wear off.

I then began to verbally berate him. “Why aren’t you protesting for Mumia Abu Jamal? What about the political prisoners in this country the government is murdering?”
He then exploded, walking close to me and pointing at me like Bill O’rielly does with his guests who have leftist political views and are therefore not worthy of respect.

“Don’t quote the Bible to me kid, I know the Bible!”

“Get the fuck out my face!” I screamed at him, as he continued to do his best to physically intimidate me with his loud voice and pointing fingers. “Leviticus, it says when a man lies with another man he shall be put to death.”

“No!” He screamed. “It says it’s an abomination.”

“and he shall be put to death…” I said quoting the exact verse to him. (LEVITICUS 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.)

“No…. No… No…” He started to say. I loudly shouted “I know the Bible better than you do.” Prompting laughter from a number of on-lookers.

He was so furious, his head could have exploded.

“Look….” He said, starting to back away, finally, “I… I… I oppose the death penalty…”
“So, you oppose the Death Penalty, even though the Bible supports it!” I screamed at him, prompting more laughter.

At that point Bryan just walked away humiliated, and defeated. I made a fool out of him, in front his own flock, with his own Bible. He then called campus security on us.

We then decided to leave. As we left, suddenly, the humiliated Bryan Kemper is chasing after us with childish tears in his eyes, holding out his blackberry.
He snaps a picture of one of us with a pro-choice sign: “I’m gonna put this on my facebook, and my myspace, and my twitter!” He screams in rage.

“Good.” My comrade, an older guy, responds calmly. “I’m proud to be pro-choice.”
Byran stormed off in a rage. We made a fool out of him, and rightly so.


Anonymous said...

Just want to start by saying that i respect any man that follows a path he believes in. I read your blog a ton i just felt like finally leaving a comment. I'm not religious and could care about the religious right as much as i care about the stalinist left, but i find it funny that a communist would use the word "flim-flam man" to describe a polititical and social activist he disagrees with. Considering Marx-Leninsim (the branch of Marxism to which you subscribe i would assume, considering you are a member of the Workers World Party) is the biggest bait and switch of the last 90 years and it's main followers are nothing but activists and propagandists, it sounds like this guy is just on the wrong side of the issue to you. I would think that you would see eye to eye with a fellow agitator. Like you, he just belongs to a strong cult like group with a manifesto that claims to have unlocked the keys to everlasting life. He has God, the Devil, the bible, the prophets and heaven. And the communist has Socialism instead of God, capitalism instead of the Devil, the manifiesto, Das Kapital and the like instead of the Bible, Marx, Engels and the communist "martyrs" instead of the prophets and the "classless commenwealth" instead of heaven. All tied up in a neat little bundle of dialectical materialism. Marx was prophitic like the best of the old testement soothsayers. Are you sure you and your comrades are not religious? (well maybe you are in like a "Long Loneliness" kind of way)
Anyway not really trying to start anything, just wanted to comment. I found that last post to be very entertaining. I like your blog it's pretty funny and keeps me informed. (i really mean that, i spend a ton time looking at all of your articles and videos). Keep following your heart, just remember you can be as clueless as the the folks you take joy in humiliating.
-mike in Texas

Anonymous said...

Curiosity killed the Cat...

I can't quite tell from your blog. Are you against people who try too hard, arrogant righteous holier-than-thou figures, &/or Christian beliefs in general?

As a modern communist, do you have to give up your religion or do you view it as only choice?

-tooafraidtocommentonyourfacebookfor fearofconflict